SDAWP SI 2023

i am bigger than you and faster and i can fly. i take your father places in this world  and places in his dreams. he thinks about me when he is inside smaller things slower things. things that are not me, but he wishes were. i am strong and powerful and dangerous. and there is no seat for you in here,  only him and those like him. those trained to handle my power those unafraid of moving faster than a sound wave those who wish they could become wind itself. those who want to be birds or demigods hawks eagles  argonauts but whose humanity is bound by something  only they can understand. 

                                                                   Choosing Words https://new.express.adobe.com/webpage/WRLK1DhVE9HTM

I did not come to teaching right out of college or even as a first career; I entered this profession after spending years in the corporate world and struggling to find something more than just a job, a paycheck, or a title. Once I realized that the job wasn’t enough, more money was not enough, and having the job title, office, and important meetings with C-levels (CEO, CFO, etc.) were not fulfilling, I knew it was time to follow my heart and do something I loved. Or at least a career where I didn’t feel like I was part of a soul-crushing, money-making machine. I just wanted to find a job where I did not dread getting out of bed and going to work.  So, what was missing?  Why did I feel so empty? The answer lies in the first word of that last sentence.  Why.   I had been working my way up the corporate ladder, and with that, I was lucky enough to have some great mentors and personal development coaching,  both of which served as guideposts that helped me navigate ...

  Teaching Climate Change and Managing Climate Anxiety

  I was brought into this world on my mother’s birthday.   My mother’s name is Dale Bach.  Even though she is now happily married to her 5th husband, she keeps her first husband’s name because she likes the way it sounds.  From an early age I understood that my mother holds power.  Not only does her beauty give her access and privilege, but her lack of predictability and daring nature give her an edge.   She is wild.        Wild in the way that makes your pace quicken and palms sweat.    Wild in the way that I rarely appreciated until I was grown and                her reckless abandon was deemed “cool” by my peers.   Wild, in spirit and in dance.  She is a wildflower of her own germination. When my mother walks into a room, you notice.  People in her circles would say she has a strong aura.  She cha...

     Photo by Rajesh Kavasseri on Unsplash    Music has been on my mind a lot recently. My mom was teasing me the other day about how I never performed all the songs from Phantom of the Opera like I promised. I immediately started turning red, thinking about my poor Yamaha stowed away in the back of my closet, where all half-forgotten hobbies slumber. After that phone call, I looked into the opaque darkness of my closet. I still haven’t installed lights like I intended, and this space benefits from little natural light.  I plunge my hand into the back, feeling along the rough plaster wall. There’s an old fold up table I still haven’t given my dad, a red dress I thought the washers ate, a box of embroidery threads that also fills me with guilt, and finally the bumpy plastic of my flute’s case. I grope along until I find the handle of the case and pull it out.  It looks nearly identical to how it did when my parents bought it for me nearly 8 years ago...

Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash   I believe that teachers, as humans, can only do so much with the time and resources given, that as overburdened as we are–  something always gives. Sometime this past spring, I received a forwarded email from the principal about a parent’s concern. With this forwarded email I was asked to get on the phone with this parent to touch base. I had already been emailing with her consistently, despite having been told that the issue mentioned was already cleared up between her and the principal. I was being asked to do something I was already doing, while also trying to support students who were struggling academically, and personally.  When I look back beyond that bright, blinding betrayal, I see the long reaching shadow of regret. I regret I spent too much time in unproductive meetings, spent too much time emailing about issues that had already been addressed, on tasks that were ultimately performative. Empty.  I regret that I didn’t spend...

      Excerpt from a chapter entitled: Sometimes we mistake comfort for love.          As a poker player, I don’t prefer tournaments.  Once you're out, that’s. it.  If you are with someone who remains in the tournament, it’s a lot of waiting around.  There was one awkward Saturday morning when I quickly got out of a Texas Hold’em tournament at a card room on El Cajon Boulevard in San Diego.  The card room was small, so once I was out, I walked next door and sat on a bench just outside the front door of a Coco’s restaurant.  After only a few minutes, a man, riding a very small bicycle, rolled up to me.      “You working?” he asked.      I had to shield my eyes from the noon sun as I turned to look at him.  “No,” I responded, and looked away.        “Do you work tomorrow?” he persisted.      Irritated by his presence, I told him, “No.  ...

  5 Practices Writers Need to Succeed

  A Culture of Courage by Christine Kane Link:  https://express.adobe.com/page/lYfPjkQrdsBqe/

One The Edge of Falling Into... https://express.adobe.com/page/FyGJ1Kmj6N3Pe/  

Public Transportation

 Trying Something New https://www.canva.com/design/DAFn6ki9_Fo/k4XCDllhl7-akNeYCW_Q4g/edit?utm_content=DAFn6ki9_Fo&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link2&utm_source=sharebutton

 

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  “This should be the last box.” Here I am moving to another classroom for the fourth time in my eight years of teaching. I look around at all the items I have accumulated over my course as a teacher, packed to the brim of the boxes, ready to be carried away to a new space. Will I ever find consistency in my career?  When I first went through the teaching program at UCSD, they warned us about the likelihood of new teachers to leave the profession within the first five years of teaching. I wondered, “Why?” I soon found out that it was not necessarily about classroom management issues, extra supervision assignments, amounts of preps, or parent complaints. It was about the uncertainty we could experience every single year. The first three years were a dream because I did not have to deal with the looming question: “Will I have a job next school year?” However, reality hit me and it all went downhill in 2020. At the end of every year from 2020 onward, I was slapped with a big, fat...

I Learned to Swim When I Was 22 https://express.adobe.com/page/Hn7NOBq50K0cE/

  Chapter 1 Present Day Slowly, it trickles away. You don’t see it coming. One moment, you are crazy in love, and then next, you are wondering what happened. What did happen? Where did it fall apart? Does this happen to each relationship? Where did it go?  She knew where… Routine. Esmeralda loved routine in the things she could not typically control, like work, but she hated routine in her relationships. She loved being in control of how she used her spontaneity. Weird combination for some, but useful for her. Esmeralda would fall into routine at work and throw in some adventure in her personal life.  Her partner, John, on the other hand, was comfortable with routine in a relationship. It was driving her crazy. Why must one’s partner wait for a “special day” to celebrate their love? Why can’t they show their love every day in a different way?  She knew why. Their love languages were different. While Esmeralda favored words of affirmation and acts of serv...