The Back-Up Plan (Chapter 1) by Jessica H. Macias

 Chapter 1

Present Day

Slowly, it trickles away. You don’t see it coming. One moment, you are crazy in love, and then next, you are wondering what happened. What did happen? Where did it fall apart? Does this happen to each relationship? Where did it go? 

She knew where…

Routine.

Esmeralda loved routine in the things she could not typically control, like work, but she hated routine in her relationships. She loved being in control of how she used her spontaneity. Weird combination for some, but useful for her. Esmeralda would fall into routine at work and throw in some adventure in her personal life. 

Her partner, John, on the other hand, was comfortable with routine in a relationship. It was driving her crazy. Why must one’s partner wait for a “special day” to celebrate their love? Why can’t they show their love every day in a different way? 

She knew why. Their love languages were different. While Esmeralda favored words of affirmation and acts of service, he favored quality time and physical touch. Would this ever work in the long run? They have been together for one year and Esmeralda already started to question it. She actually started to question it six months into their relationship when John moved away to studying abroad and when her best friend became an important part of her life. More important than he had been before.

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“So, where do you want to go tonight?” She took a moment to think. She hadn’t been out in quite a while because she fell into the routine of her new teaching job. 

“What about Downtown? It’s been a while.”

“You got it!” Ethan smiled at her a bit longer than usual. She was confused but brushed it off, needing a few drinks to shake off the week she had. He accelerated through the cul de sac and made his way to the 805 freeway. 

She settled into the passenger seat. She appreciated the comfort of him by her side. Her boyfriend had been studying abroad for at least five months now, and she felt like she was being pushed aside. John hadn’t taken a moment out of his school day to reply to her “I love you” message. He definitely had time to post a long story on Snapchat. Who were those girls anyway? 

“How was work?” Esmeralda didn’t reply, lost in her thoughts about John. “You OK in there?” Ethan reached out and lightly knocked on Esmeralda’s head with his pointer finger.

“Huh? Oh, yeah. Sorry. Work was...interesting. I got a new student today and he wasn’t the nicest. I have to grade 112 essays by Monday. Hm, what else?” She stopped staring straight ahead and took a glance at Ethan. He was wearing the new cardigan he bought just last weekend on their impromptu shopping spree. It was light brown with large, dark brown buttons trailing down to where it paired well with his favorite dark blue jeans. She couldn’t see his shoes, but she knew it was the dark brown Oxfords she convinced him to buy.

“Sorry it was pretty shitty. Hopefully tonight makes you feel better. I’m sure we’ll do a lot of people-watching.” Ah, people-watching: it was their favorite thing to do to get out of their heads. They’d go to a busy part of town, enjoy some drinks (coffee or cocktails, depending on the time of day), and make up stories about the people around them. Their favorite time was when they were sitting in Balboa Park and a couple was walking in front of the Art Museum. They were holding hands and even kissed a few times before she stopped in her tracks and slapped him so hard it was heard across the park. “Oh, shit,” Ethan’s eyes bulged open as he was mid-bite. She nervously laughed for the random guy and nudged her best friend; “Maybe he is the wrong twin.” They always came up with preposterous stories, but it bonded them. Their creative minds were very colorful; they felt bad for the people that would listen to them. 

Esmeralda was so happy to have Ethan back in her life. She lost him there for two years while he was in a relationship with the girl she warned him about. Esmeralda was good at pointing out other people’s relationship flaws, but she had the hardest time figuring things out for herself. Her emotions stopped her from wanting to see the truth. 

“Can we please make our way to the heart of Gaslamp?”

“But of course! Let’s start at that tiki bar I was telling you about.” Ethan always kept updated with the newest things in town. San Diego was enormous; how Ethan kept up, Esmeralda will never know, but she was grateful for him even more because of it. 

Ethan and Esmeralda met when they were in middle school, thanks to their older siblings that had a small fling while they were in high school. His older sister and her older brother took them along some of their dates because their parents sprang it on them. When their older siblings broke up a few months later, Ethan and Esmeralda started hanging out on their own. They were both dorks in their own way; Ethan was shy and timid, while Esmeralda was trying to find a group of friends she could fit in. Although the two already had their separate friend groups to go to, there was a time when Esmeralda and Ethan only wanted to spend it together. Ethan lived in an apartment complex one block away from Esmeralda’s parents’ house. It was walking distance, so they would take turns walking to each other’s houses that  summer when they got really close. 

“Yes! I need a couple drinks in me.” 

Ethan took a moment to try and make eye contact with Esmeralda. She avoided it because he knew how to read her emotions from her eyes. 

“You sure you’re OK, Esme?” Esmeralda looked down and took a deep breath. 

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” She finally looked up at him with a smile that didn’t reach her eyes to try and mask her sadness. He knew better than to push it and to believe that she was fine.

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“You weren’t lyin’. This place is so cute!” Ethan nudged her as the waitress asked them to follow her to their table. Esmeralda’s laugh caught Ethan for a moment. 

“I told ya. I thought you would love this place. You know, being Hula Girl and all.” Ethan’s thoughts flashed back to middle school for a moment. Watching Esmeralda dance at the Del Mar Fair really made him appreciate the dance, and her passion for the culture. 

She wasn’t Polynesian, but she found so many similarities between the Polynesian and Mexican culture that brought her to dance Hula and Tahitian since the fourth grade. 

“OK, how was your date last weekend? Did it end well?” Esmeralda perused the cocktail menu while waiting for Ethan’s response. He always went on very interesting dates with very…interesting women. One time a girl showed up and asked him to pretend to propose to her because her ex was on a date in the same restaurant. Esmeralda felt for him because the repeated cycle of his relationships revolved around a girl using him to make another guy jealous. Or using him as a placeholder until they found someone “better.” He was so kind that he sometimes didn’t know when to say no. 

He was kind to everyone that crossed his path, funny in the sarcastic way Esmeralda liked, and…handsome. His six foot tall stance never felt like he was looming over her 5’5” stature. Rather, he would slightly bend a knee and lean towards her to invite her in. His whiskey-colored eyes had a way of comforting and challenging her all at once. She felt safe enough with him to take on the world, and his perfectly curved brow would spike up to encourage her to do something out of her element every once in a while. His smile sparkled like fairy dust making her day even more magical in his presence. And his smile was never in scarcity; he spread it around like wildfire. The large dimples that accompanied his perfect smile made it even more friendly. His chocolate brown hair was styled perfectly back on the top and cut short on the sides, which showed off his strong jaw. When he was nervous, he would unknowingly clench his jaw and create a perfect line across his cheek. 

Who wouldn’t want to pretend to be his girl? Or be his real girl for that matter? She sat there drinking him in for a second before shaking her head and returning to the actual drink menu. 

Ethan took a second longer than usual to respond then shifted in his seat. Oh no, Esmeralda knew that look on his face. A mixture of sheepishness and allure. “Well? I’m waiting.” 

“I went out with–” Ethan looked down at his large hands entwined with one another. He didn’t know how she would take it this time. Esmeralda already knew where this was going. 

“Nope. No. Nu-uh.”She shook her head and put the drink menu down. 

“–Mia,” he added in almost a whisper. 

“Why the hell are you letting her in again?” Esmeralda’s dark brown eyes bore into him. This would be the third time he allows this girl back into his life to just mess around with him. And Esmeralda didn’t want to lose him again. Especially not now.  After all, Mia is the reason Ethan and Esmeralda stopped talking for two years. She said something about feeling uncomfortable with their relationship.

“She texted me that she wanted to talk. Clear things up.” He sheepishly looked up at Esmeralda, hiding behind those long lashes. 

Her expression softened; she could never stay mad at him. There was that one time in high school when he bailed on her at the last minute to hang out with his guy friends, although Esmeralda needed a friend that night after her break-up. But after a late night walk to her house with her favorite bag of hot cheetos and a long, silent hug on her front porch, she forgave him. After that, they would give each other space, which would last about one day, before they spoke again to clear things up. 

“How much more does she need to clear up? She already told you that she wasn’t interested… TWICE.” Ethan visibly winced when she said that. 

She paused for a moment and wanted to make this clear. “Ethan, look at me.” She confidently looked across the tiny table. He immediately looked directly in her eyes. Esmeralda felt a pang of…something. “You deserve the world.” 

“Oh, stop,” he tried to object as his cheeks burned pink on his caramel tanned skin, but she kept going.

“No, you need to hear this. You are such a catch, and any girl would be lucky to be with you.” She lightly laughed. “Hell, that's why we made our pact in middle school.”

There they were - his deep dimples. She felt like she won a few more friendship points whenever she got him to smile like that. 

They smile at one another as they remember that summer night when they made the pact. He felt nervous all of a sudden.

“It wasn’t bad,” he insisted. 

“OK, did you tell her to crawl into a hole and leave you alone forever?” She crossed her arms now and leaned back in her chair. 

“You’ll be proud of me, actually,” a sparkle now present in his eyes, just like when he had a smart ass comment he was ready to throw out when they joked around.

Her smirk turned into a full-fledged smile. “Continue.” 

“I showed up and told her straight out that…” he paused for a dramatic moment. He waited for her to play fight with him like she usually did when he pulled this. 

“Ethan, I swear –” 

“–I want to cut ties completely,” he cut her off.

Ethan loved the expression on Esmeralda’s face. It was a combination of relief and excitement, but there was a hint of something hidden behind her eyes. 

“I am so proud of you, Ethan.” She reached out to place her hand on his for a quick second as a form of support. However, time took a pause when she reached him and she thought he looked at her lips for a second. 

She pulled her hand quickly like she touched a hot stove. The waitress came at the perfect time. 

“What can I get you two?” 

“Jack and coke for him and a margarita for me, please.” Ethan quickly took out this phone and stared at it blankly, finding an excuse to look away. “Um…” Esmeralda took a long pause and cleared her throat. Ethan looked up as he put his phone away.

“Are you gonna finally tell me what’s going on?”

“How did you know?” Esmeralda pretended to look shocked while clutching her pearls. 

He smirked. She pulled out her phone and scrolled to Snapchat, pulling up John’s story. Esmeralda placed the phone in his open hand and didn’t realize she was holding her breath.

“Hmm.” Ethan looked at the story like he was trying to find the cure for a sickness. Esmeralda appreciated the effort he put into helping her figure out her issues. Always. No matter what. 

“What do you think?” She asked nervously, picking at the dead skin on her thumb with her pointer finger.  

“I’m assuming he hasn’t texted you…again?” She slowly nodded as her eyes met her raw thumb in her lap. “Hm, and do you know who these girls are?” 

“No.” 

“Well, it’s fucked up.” He paused and tried to make eye contact with Esmeralda. When she didn’t look up, he looked back at the phone. “You’ve only been together for what? One year? And he can’t even do the bare minimum?” He notices Esmeralda shifting uncomfortably. He changes his tone to  “Come on, Esme. You don’t have to put up with this.” He pulled his chair next to hers and pulled her into a side hug. 

The waitress arrived with the drinks and quietly whispered “Aww.” That’s when Esme realized she had placed her head in the crevice between his neck and shoulder and he had scooped his arm around her in a gentle and reassuring way. 

She cleared her throat and excused herself to the restroom. On her way there, she couldn’t help but feel nervously relaxed. 

Esmeralda made her way to the mirror in the restroom and looked at herself. Long, dark brown hair trailed down to her lower back. Her eyes are as dark as a starless night. A small dimple on the left of her smile acted like a period to emphasize her happiness. 

She was deep in thought about what she was feeling. Why was she nervous, honestly? Was this about John? Why was he acting distant all of a sudden? It’s not like they haven’t known each other for five years now. She thought back to the moment they met in high school.

Esmeralda had just finished attending her volleyball banquet when she asked her mom if she could go to a birthday party for her friend Paul. It was just in a different room of the La Bella’s restaurant. Esmeralda had met Paul in middle school, but they hadn’t hung out in a while. So when she was invited, she wanted to make an appearance because she hated when people didn’t show up to her birthday parties. Paul had nothing to worry about because it was packed. She texted her friend asking her if she was coming but did not receive a response. Esmeralda waited patiently at the back of the room, looking at her phone. That’s when John took a seat next to her and introduced himself. His confidence encouraged her to open up to him. 

She was shaken back to reality when the laughter of a group of ladies moved closer to the restroom. She washed her hands and stepped back into the bar. As she walked over to Ethan, she noticed that he covered her drink with a napkin. 

“Hi,” she almost whispered. He smiled in return.

“So, no more talk about the bullshit unless you want to. Let’s just hang out and forget all the stress.” He bumped his shoulder against hers jokingly. 

“Cheers to that!” They clinked glasses and took a sip from their respective drinks.